No Monday. No February. No 2019.
I’m pleased to announce the official end to my first lull of blogging. I haven’t written since December, but I’m now happily tapping away, in my favourite coffee shop, sipping on a sugared latte I was supposed to give up months ago. Hey did you know we started a New Year? Were you just as inundated with pictures of mantras and bullet journals? How are those goals going? If I had my January-self’s way, I’d be six blog posts in, 5 kilograms less and a lot of savings more...
I don’t why, but I felt this New Year presented a particularly high pressure to be influencer-perfect than most. Everywhere I looked, I saw beautifully crafted flat-lays with resolutions written in exquisite calligraphy. Sure, I had some goals in mind, but with my new-found (impersonating) identity as a blogger, I really felt like I had to up my game this year.
In fairness, I gave it a good nine days (post-NYE hangover). I came back to work refreshed, smashed through some projects and was gaining a good amount of momentum. Unfortunately, (not really), I already had plans to cancel most of January. My partner and I had a trip booked to get some winter sun and whilst I definitely needed the R&R, I did feel like I was cheating. I didn’t run and I certainly didn’t write. But then of course, I had the new month around the corner! So I decided to postpone New Me until then.
February came, but it was on a Saturday. Naturally, nothing happened, because ‘I’ll start on Monday!’ Then Monday came, and whilst I got stuck straight into work, what didn’t I see? Any sign of personal goals. It did not feel great. I still gave myself excuses of course, but they never really made the feeling of laziness go away. I hid from the gym, threw my notebook at the bottom of my bag and spent my entire evenings watching Netflix.
It wasn’t until the end of last week where I naturally found a feeling of wanting to do any of these tasks. It wasn’t an overnight surge of energy or any kind of pep talks. It was simply me being ready, in the right space, to get cracking. What day did I start going back to the gym? Friday. What day is it today? Tuesday. No Monday, no February, and no 2019.
With each spark of motivation and every tick next to a task, I was feeling better and better. Step by step, I’m getting myself into a sustainable routine of organisation and self-care that, I’m hoping, can only grow. Don’t worry, I won’t be setting my alarm for 5am anytime soon, but I did make it to the gym twice this week! And well, this post is online, so I’m getting there.
Am I better off than I was in 2018? I think so. It wasn’t an overnight miracle mask that made it happen but I’m okay with that. Make sure you are too.